Vanilla

by Marian Call

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about

Marian's frisky alt-folk debut album, made with the help of friends and family in Seattle and Alaska. Clever, sweet, pure and tasty acoustic music that has garnered fans across all age groups & nationalities. For more information, visit mariancall.com. To connect with Marian, visit twitter.com/mariancall or facebook.com/mariancallmusic.

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released 24 September 2007

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about

Marian Call Alaska

Marian Call loves making music for you. She hails from Alaska but can often be found touring North America and Europe at the speed of sound. Her songs are quirky, geeky, eclectic acoustic confections that taste like vanilla-cinnamon-chipotle something. She sounds a little like Joni Mitchell meets They Might Be Giants meets Regina Spektor. ... more

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Track Name: Fret
Oh, when you kiss m-me goodnight, I wonder
If you could ever mean as much to me as I do to you
I fret ‘n’ fumble with my thoughts; I want you
But only on my terms and on my time, I want it perfect and easy

How to want you, how to give you what you deserve to get
How to tell you what my heart doesn’t feel just yet
How to be a good girl, how I try, oh my
But still, you love me, you love me, love me…
And something in me must love you too
Or else why would I write this song about you?

Oh, lately I’ve been thinking about your sweet, sweet smile
And whether I am right to let you fight for my so-twisted heart
‘f’I had the time I’d make you mine; you’re beautiful
And I am oh so wrong to let this song say how I’ll never deserve you, no no

I think instead of feel, but if that’s okay with you
I will be your dearest friend — I’ll be your lover too
And I will never ever leave if you will have me now
But dear, the trouble is with love — trouble is with love –
I’m not sure if my heart will ever know how
And something in me must love you too
Or I’d be able to breathe when I think when I think about you, ooh

I’ve half a mind to take some time with you…
I fret ‘n’ fumble with my thoughts, but I don’t feel anything…
I wish I knew if I could love you too…
Track Name: Dark Dark Eyes
You don’t know how lovely you are
Sweet sweet soul
With dark dark eyes
Head to heel beautifully marred
Sweet sweet soul
Forgive my surprise

I know you see right through me
But please don’t look away
I’ll comfort you if you’ll cling to me
We’ll cry and we’ll wait for the day
Oh, I wish you could see what I see
Sweet sweet soul
Dark dark eyes

You don’t know how dangerous you are
Sweet sweet soul
With small small hands
I’d tell you the truth, but it’s hard
Sweet sweet soul
You don’t comprehend

But I’ll sing you every known love song
Until you can sleep through the night
I’ll stay by your side if you’ll have me, love
I’ll hold you until you don’t fight
Oh, I wish you could see what I see
Sweet sweet soul
Dark dark eyes
Track Name: The Volvo Song
Oh, my darling, there is something we must discuss
How with cell phone in hand you ran my Volvo through the special bus
(And I am more a Volvo than any other kind of car
Reliable and safe and Scandinavian and square)
You bent in all the corners and you put out all the lights
So I wanna know, baby, how you propose to make things right

Oooh my darling, when you bounced that check
Why didn’t you think the gorram fees would set you so far back
Oh my darling sugar pie, why did you stay up all that night
And put off your packing and eat too much and miss your flight
You knew you’d be miserable after that white lie
So why did you why did you why did you why did you why?

(Shame on you babe, shame on you babe
Always do know what you’ll do, babe
You know what you should and shouldn’t’a….)

Maybe when you’re older, baby, maybe when you’re sober
Then you’ll stop picking zits and picking nits and picking fights!

I know I’m far from perfect and I know I’m hardly good
But we’d get so much further if you would do what you what you should do –
If seeing were caring what a different line we’d take
If knowing were doing what a different world we’d make
What we want and what we need we very very seldom do
I want a smaller waist. I want donuts too.

And we visit on each other, oh, the slings of self-defeat
And we cannot dodge the arrows of undisciplined retreat
I’d be better if my love were not so timid and controlled
I’d sleep closer if I were not both so bony and so cold…
Track Name: Flying Feels Like
Rapid City into Denver, Denver to Chicago
Chicago into Houston into Phoenix into home
Blue into white and down to gray, now I see green
And every time we land, I swear I feel so childish and alone
Cream into butter
Water into wine
Takes a little magic
And a little time…
(I hate to fly.)

That very first prom night, how I floated to your car
With flowers and delusions tied so tight upon my wrists
I remember how your hair smelled, how my heart beat, how you scared me
Into clinging to the lawn with perfect prom nails & white-knuckled fists
I thought I’d float away
And I didn’t want to go
Tumbling off the earth, into the deep, into the dark
Out of control

Because flying feels like falling, flying feels like falling
When I close my eyes…

So I’ll clutch the plastic armrests and I’ll sway side to side
With my seatbelt tight, eyes open wide
To get to you, I’ll take this ride

I’m lazy, but I like hard work, shoulder to the plough
A heavy head feels good in bed, but I don’t sleep nohow
And minutes into hours into staring at the wall
My mind will not surrender into darkness into deeply dream at all
Water into wine
Takes a little pressure
And a lot of time…

Flying feels like falling, flying feels like falling
When I close my eyes…
Down I go.

Every child knows how and why they’re hated
I hid my papers from the class, and I tore up my tests
‘Til unfulfilled potential was my very own pet monster
And it beat me when I failed and when I didn’t care
And when I did my best
To turn this rubbish into rhyme
Every time you travel
It takes so much courage, oh, and so much time

Flying feels like falling, flying feels like falling
When I close my eyes…

Flying feels like falling and the altitude’s appalling
And my starboard engine’s stalling
And I dunno if I glide

Flying feels like falling
Oh the ground is calling
Come down or I will break you
What would make you think I’d let you in the sky?

Ooh, to get to you I’ll take this ride…
Track Name: Sunday Afternoon
Sun-soaked skin shines hot and golden
Inside the glare the sky is white
A boundless yawn engulfs the lawn
Where dreams are drunk on blazing light

Sprawled carelessly upon the grass
The edges of my dress creep high
How light the streams of balmy beams
Stroking soft across my thigh

Virginia Woolf naps there beside me
Pen falls from hand to find its rest
Eyelids drift, no lashes lift
And gently rises, falls my breast

Sleep and wake and time mean nothing
Til five o’clock comes far too soon
But daisy-haired and shoulders bared
How sweet was Sunday afternoon
Track Name: Vanilla
I’m not sexy, but I really want to be
I hear that’s normal for my demographic
I don’t look good in skirts, and even wedges hurt my feet
And I can’t keep a straight face and say ‘orgasmic’

Oh, I’m not hip, but I really want to be
All the bands I like you’ve heard of, and I watch too much TV
And I’m not cute, and I think too hard to be sweet
But not enough to get a real job or converse insightfully –
This is the part where you politely disagree.

My virtues are too dull to entertain,
but you can always count on me.

A nicely balanced budget’s not so thrilling,
and courtesy’s outdated, and sobriety is lame
Reliability is not appealing
But I don’t know any other way to be
I love people and I want them to love me

My virtues are vanilla at best, but you can always call on…

I’ll sing for you, I’ll sing for you
I’ll be the first one by your side
And the last one to leave
I’ll give you everything I’ve got,
I’ll get you anything you need
I’m not much to entertain,
But you can always call on me

I’m sorry I’m not meaner
I’m sorry I don’t bite
I’m sorry I don’t break as many hearts as you might like
I’m not hip or cute or spontaneous,
And I know I’m such a fool,
But I’ll love you real good if you’ll let me make
a dumb mistake or two. Oh,

I’m not sexy, but I’ll love you if you let me…

My baby took me out one Saturday night,
and I could tell he could tell I’m a square
I asked him, ‘baby, where are we goin’?’
and he said, ‘apparently nowhere.’
He said-a ‘you don’t bark and you don’t bite,
so what use have I got for you?’
I said, ‘my crimes may not be half so entertaining as yours,
but let me tell you baby what I can do…

I’ll sing for you, I’ll sing for you
I’ll be the first one by your side
And the last one to leave
I’ll give you everything I’ve got,
I’ll get you anything you need
I’m not much to entertain,
But you can always call on me

Not sexy, no, not sweet, but I’ll sing for you if you want me to…
Not hip, not cute, not sweet, not even solvent baby
But I love you, oh
I love you, I love you, I love you baby
Track Name: I'm Yours
So this is faith — so this is hope
So this is stepping way beyond what I can know
So here’s my life — I’ve chosen you
Because I’m trusting who you are and what you’ll do
I’m lost, I’m through

And I’m yours
I have to believe in your love
Because now I’m yours

So this is love — so this is grace
That certain happy glow familiar on your face
You look like home — so warm and real and true
I feel the afterglow of God all over you
Like a new day your light breaks through

And I’m yours — I don’t promise you perfection
But I’m yours — take this poor heart and protect it
I’m yours
I’m leaning on your love
Because now I’m yours

We will fight the good fight, we will wrestle with life
On the same side
And we’ll dream and we’ll doubt, face reality now
On the same side

So this is faith — so this is joy
So this is harmony and dissonance
And love defying loneliness

Now I’m yours — you’ve caught me and you’ll keep me
I’m yours — I lay down my life completely
I’m yours
And you are mine now, love
I have fallen, I have chosen
I’m yours
Track Name: Rx: Stop What You're Doing
None of us is fine
None of us is good
Most of us are nice
When we feel we really should be
Nice won’t get us far
‘Cause none of us is fine
None of us is fine

Stop what you’re doing and cry for a while
For all of the people that need you
Lay down your head and lay down your denial
You should, but you can’t bring yourself to
Be real, be there, get up, try to care
Let your lack overwhelm you, let your selfishness bleed away
For at least an hour every day

None of us is fine
None of us is good
Most of us are nice
When we feel we really should be
Nice won’t get us far
‘Cause none of us is fine
None of us is fine

Stop what you’re doing and laugh for a while
At all of your foolish ambition
Deluded and fragile and brave, like a child
Who still thinks life comes with a mission
Drop your sword and your flag, get your sponge and your rag
Let the mirror remind you, let your fairy-tale dreams melt away
For at least one hour every day

None of us is fine
None of us is good
Most of us are nice
When we feel we really should be
Nice won’t get us far
‘Cause none of us is fine
None of us is fine
Track Name: Your Fault
You make a really lovely victim, darling
Especially so made up and so attractively lighted
And you could not have picked a nicer setting
To flatter the delusions you’ve invited

And I know just what you’re saying
And I know just what you’re not
And I wonder how you’ll get along
When your composure’s shot

And where will you go when you finally know how it’s all your fault
Messy house, messy life, messed up kids, your first wife, they’re all your fault

Your platitudes were perfect, except for when they weren’t
Your logic always flawless and your lessons so well learned
Thankful as I am for all the tools you gave to me
I will wield them all like weapons if you get close enough to see

And you know just what I’m saying
And you don’t know what I’m not
And you know that I’m not playing
And you know that I have thought this through
Over and over again, oh, over and over again

And where will you go when you finally know how it’s all your fault
Messy house, messy life, messed up kids, your first wife, they’re all your fault
And what will you say when you finally see how it’s all your fault
Nothing you can do about anyone but you it’s true it’s all your fault

(And don’t you tell me, don’t you tell me, don’t you say you didn’t know)

Where will you go when you finally know how it’s all your fault
Messed-up kids, messy house, messed-up life, that one spouse, it’s all your fault

You make a really lovely victim, darling
Especially so made up and so attractively lighted
And you could not have picked a nicer setting
To flatter the delusions you’ve invited
Track Name: Chelsea Morning
Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning and the first thing that I heard
Was a song outside my window, and the traffic wrote the word
And it came a-ringin’ up like Christmas bells
And a-rappin’ up like pipes and drums
Oh, won’t you stay? We’ll put on the day
And we’ll wear it ’til the night comes

Woke up it was a Chelsea morning and the first thing that I saw
Was the sun through yellow curtains and a rainbow on my wall
Blue, red, green and gold to welcome you, crimson crystal beads to beckon
Oh, won’t you stay? We’ll put on the day
There’s a sun show every second

Now the curtain opens on a portrait of today
And the streets are paved with passers-by
And pigeons fly and papers lie
A-waiting to blow away

Woke up it was a Chelsea morning and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges too
And the sun poured in like butterscotch and stuck to all my senses
Oh, won’t you stay? we’ll put on the day
And we’ll talk in present tenses

When the curtain closes and the rainbow runs away
I will bring you incense owls by night
By candlelight, by jewel light
If only you will stay –
Pretty baby, won’t you wake up, it’s a Chelsea morning